Recently, my son was invited to a Sadie Hawkins dance at his high school. Since the young woman was creative in the way she invited him it got me thinking about the differences in the way men and women network. Now, the differences between men and women in the business world is not a new thought, In fact, there have been several studies on this very same topic, including Dr. Ivan Misner’s book “Business Networking and Sex (not what you think)” written with Hazel Walker and Frank De Raffele . But to see that first step, the invitation… the outreach, that’s what got my wheels spinning.
Barbara Moses points out this very same thing. In a recent article The Networking Gender Gap and How to Bridge it, she writes about the initial contact, where men will get right to it with a hand shake and an offering of their business card, on the other side of the coin, women will exchange information about how to manage kids, work, etc before even exchanging names.
I find myself doing this. I might open up with “great tie” or “love those shoes” as a way to generate conversation. Often a male counterpart has approached me with his business card and outstretched hand arriving .5 seconds ahead. There is no question that he will get right to the point in roughly the same amount of time, before moving on.
It seems that statistically, men have larger networks with this process. However, women have deeper and create a community with their relationships.
As I see it, the challenge for both genders is to create meaningful business relationships that both continue on and create the results one desires.
Assignment:
Our assignment today begins with reaching out with a brief but meaning full dialog that culminates in the ask.
Most people will approach you with the standard “So, what do you do?”. Take this chance to turn it around and make it about them “I’m in sales, and you?”. This gives you an opportunity to listen before you either a) get to the point or b) reply with your 411, depending on your gender style. It also allows you to tailor your responses based on what you’ve learned. Before you speak to someone else, make it a point to say “Now that I have your card/contact details I’m looking forward to following up with a cup of coffee and a chance to see how we can work together. In fact, follow up with me in the comments section to let us know how your results and your views on the gender differences in networking.
In networking: The more memorable (positive and helpful) you are, the better the results. Questions? Feel free to call BNI Executive Director Cys Bronner 866-889-3466 or email her at Cys.Bronner@BNI4success.com
Her motto: BNI, Making word of mouth marketing work for you.